random thoughts on a monday

bye-bye to xela and the amazing folks, land of hippies and bongs made out of bamboo accompanied by didgerydoos, emotional turmoil, antigua and flocks of tourists in matching shirts and wearing florescent tags like over-priced cattle...leaving guatemala for honduras and saying hello to new beer.

friends, times are crazy and whirlwinds remain. sorry for the lack of posts and there will be no effort to compensate, just some random notes for myself and of course you, that eleven-year old from denmark that keeps emailing me urging me to use proper english. fucking danes, tall, smart as hell and proper english and spanish grammar.

at this hour, my grandmother is on her deathbed. no one knows how many more breaths she has in her emphysemad lungs that have failed her for over a decade. she stopped smoking over 25 years ago and for the last three shes been sliding fast, especially in the last six months and in particular, the last two weeks. just a note for now, but she, clearly, is in my mind and im not able to write without thinking of her suffering in kansas surrounded by hospice and grieving family and me down here in the land of funny birds and mad suffering...im not going to plunge into the ramble of life, death, suffering, universiality and all that cause in the past folks have hired me out to ramble on that instead of taking sleeping pills...in short, though, love those you love while you can, no? thats that.

back to avoidance --

i just got a ramble from this guy about since i used to work for a human rights organization i should take up his case to help him attain rights to see his daughter...you know those conversations? that shit is heavy. im on a heavy theme so lets think dreamy, okay, days in lago on secluded beaches, playing lord of the rings but having no villan, hurling myself off rickety docks, crystal waters, love of lanchas and boat rides, breakfast with the most amazing 11 year old ive ever met, sofia of san marcos, meeting benjamin at hotel paz and this cat is beautiful and quirky in the most subdued way i can imagine, dancing late at night to great sounds, running from other shows that sounded like cats mating and if you have heard that you know what im fucking talking about, seeing a jim carry movie, hugh, playing chess, having people rock my soul and feeling it in me toes, getting robbed and having a little of that polar emotional thing going, eating some dank good eats, wandering cobblestone streets alone, feeling really confident wtih my spainsh, the cycle of encounters and smiling faces and hitching random directions and loving men that have fun hair and crazy eyes, power of stars and my fascination with orions belt now that i know more about mayan philosophy, wanting to meet a philosopher of time, journaling in random-ass places, finally being able to have humor come out in another language, ability to start embracing my love for papusas, meeting cristian the biker from switzerland that has been biking for two years and is more beautiful than the peaks he has crossed -- inspirational and funny as hell, bottling peoples laughs, wishing i had a camera cause of the fucking advertisements here...especially a certain beer is only for the beautiful people, finding peace in crazy situations, finding peace while clutching the ohh shit rails on buses and knowing it is alllllll good, seeing cnn for the first time and hearing bush is trying to sell us ports to dubai, what the fuck, ill get more on the flip, yall

love